aku dah luluh.
sebab kau lah.
hancur lebur.
sebab kau lah.
semua sayang yang simpan pendam perap terhadap kau dah hilang.
jadi, kau gembira sekarang?
nasib baik hormat aku terhadap kau ada lagi.
itu pun serpih-serpih je.
aku pun tak berapa pandai nilai orang.
aku tinggikan sangat pangkat kau sampai aku lupa aku ada harga diri jugak.
ini tandanya --- I NEED TO MEET NEW PEOPLE. orang-orang yang dah selalu dengan aku akhirnya, makan diri aku. telan aku hidup-hidup. sebahagian daripada orang2.
as much as i am really going to miss my school life, but this school life makes me sick right now. the fact that im leaving school in less than 2 months time makes me feel so much freedom. i just need to get the butt outta that place.
i'll miss SOME of my friends. but then, i'll get to meet them outside of school. eventhough not everyday.
i'll miss SOME of my teachers. but then, i'll get new teachers soon enough. but dont worry. im not some kera sumbang yang akan lupa jasa cikgu.
sebab tu wujud peribahasa : buat baik berpada-pada, buat jahat jangan sekali.
kalau kita baik sangat, orang akan pijak kita.
kalau kita jahat sangat, orang takkan baik dengan kita.
bila orang tak baik dengan kita, kita jugak yang mati.
jadi?
aku dah belajar something yang sangat tajam dan akan aku ingat sampai mati.
jangan terlalu jaga hati dan perasaan orang, sampai lupa hati jiwa raga perasaan sendiri.
aku dah luluh sangat.
sebab kau lah.
lesson learnt.
----------
afiq,
i still miss you. seriously. ai-em-wai to the max.
come back soon.
with love,
me.
Monday, November 8, 2010
Friday, November 5, 2010
manipulasi tahap dewa. tahniah.
kalau mampu untuk aku tabik kau berkali-kali, aku akan.
betul. sebab kau pandai.
Analogi :: kau memang orang yang degil. ramai tahu hakikat itu. jadi, suatu hari, kau sesat celah hutan tropika yang tebal penuh haiwan, awan pun tak nampak, cahaya pun hendak tak hendak je menyinari, sejuk je sepanjang denai. kau sesat pun sebab kau sendiri yang rasa kau boleh hidup sendiri walaupun tak ikut kumpulan yang sedia bantu setiap orang yang perlu bantuan. setelah dinasihat sampai berbuih mulut, kau tetap dengan rancangan kau.
ok, nak jadikan cerita. bila kau sesat, kau lolong sekuat-kuatnya cari mak. akhirnya, ada orang datang sambut. orang tanya macam mana kau boleh sesat. haa. di sini bermulanya hikayat mahakarya cerita dongeng tahap sekalian alam. di sini kau mula putar belit cerita sampai patah segala tengkuk riuk orang nak faham kau.
cerita kau :: kumpulan yang sedia bantu kau sengaja tinggalkan kau semasa kau tidur.
orang percaya. walaupun orang tahu hakikat kau degil namun orang masih percaya. aku tak tahu kenapa. tolol sangat ke orang tu sampai cerita bodoh itu dikata kata-kata benar? kiranya kau boleh menang novelis remaja terunggul. cantek lah. sungguh tolol orang sekarang.
hujungnya, orang tuding jari kepada ...?
so-called kumpulan yang sedia bantu kau.
sedangkan, hakikat ...?
dah berbuih mulut bagi nasihat. kau degil.
tahniah! minda orang yang aku anggap kelas pertama telah kau kuasai.
kau pakai ilmu apa eh? aku nak belajar.
kalau kau dapat kuasai minda orang kelas pertama, maknanya, kau minda kelas ke berapa? negatif satu kuasa 10000?
ataupun kau yang punya kelas minda pertama. cuma orang itu yang punya minda kelas negatif 100. terlalu tolol mungkin.
kau putar belit lah cerita kau. kau manipulasi lah orang.
kau pusing kiri bila perlu pusing kanan, takpa. kau akan betul juga.
kau undur belakang bila perlu maju ke depan, takpa. kau akan betul juga.
apa salah kau buat, kau tetap betul.
tak perlu risau.
kalau mampu aku tabik kau berkali-kali, aku akan.
tapi, aku letih.
letih melayan songeh remeh orang. terutama bila kau kuasai mereka.
petang semalam, banyak yang aku timba.
susur galur hidup dari pandangan yang tak pernah terlintas untuk aku intai pun.
kata-kata hikmah yang aku dapat sumpah, sampai mati aku ingat.
batasan rasa yang perlu ada antara manusia.
ragam manusia yang tak pernah wujud dalam hidup aku, akhirnya timbul dari permukaan.
dan ...
susun atur hidup aku dari Tuhan yang sangat terlalu sempurna rupanya.
alhamdulillah. aku syukur. aku redha.
mata kuyu. masa dah tiba untuk jumpa bantal.
afiq, i'll be praying for you always. :)
goodnight. ai-em-wai.
with love,
me.
betul. sebab kau pandai.
Analogi :: kau memang orang yang degil. ramai tahu hakikat itu. jadi, suatu hari, kau sesat celah hutan tropika yang tebal penuh haiwan, awan pun tak nampak, cahaya pun hendak tak hendak je menyinari, sejuk je sepanjang denai. kau sesat pun sebab kau sendiri yang rasa kau boleh hidup sendiri walaupun tak ikut kumpulan yang sedia bantu setiap orang yang perlu bantuan. setelah dinasihat sampai berbuih mulut, kau tetap dengan rancangan kau.
ok, nak jadikan cerita. bila kau sesat, kau lolong sekuat-kuatnya cari mak. akhirnya, ada orang datang sambut. orang tanya macam mana kau boleh sesat. haa. di sini bermulanya hikayat mahakarya cerita dongeng tahap sekalian alam. di sini kau mula putar belit cerita sampai patah segala tengkuk riuk orang nak faham kau.
cerita kau :: kumpulan yang sedia bantu kau sengaja tinggalkan kau semasa kau tidur.
orang percaya. walaupun orang tahu hakikat kau degil namun orang masih percaya. aku tak tahu kenapa. tolol sangat ke orang tu sampai cerita bodoh itu dikata kata-kata benar? kiranya kau boleh menang novelis remaja terunggul. cantek lah. sungguh tolol orang sekarang.
hujungnya, orang tuding jari kepada ...?
so-called kumpulan yang sedia bantu kau.
sedangkan, hakikat ...?
dah berbuih mulut bagi nasihat. kau degil.
tahniah! minda orang yang aku anggap kelas pertama telah kau kuasai.
kau pakai ilmu apa eh? aku nak belajar.
kalau kau dapat kuasai minda orang kelas pertama, maknanya, kau minda kelas ke berapa? negatif satu kuasa 10000?
ataupun kau yang punya kelas minda pertama. cuma orang itu yang punya minda kelas negatif 100. terlalu tolol mungkin.
kau putar belit lah cerita kau. kau manipulasi lah orang.
kau pusing kiri bila perlu pusing kanan, takpa. kau akan betul juga.
kau undur belakang bila perlu maju ke depan, takpa. kau akan betul juga.
apa salah kau buat, kau tetap betul.
tak perlu risau.
kalau mampu aku tabik kau berkali-kali, aku akan.
tapi, aku letih.
letih melayan songeh remeh orang. terutama bila kau kuasai mereka.
petang semalam, banyak yang aku timba.
susur galur hidup dari pandangan yang tak pernah terlintas untuk aku intai pun.
kata-kata hikmah yang aku dapat sumpah, sampai mati aku ingat.
batasan rasa yang perlu ada antara manusia.
ragam manusia yang tak pernah wujud dalam hidup aku, akhirnya timbul dari permukaan.
dan ...
susun atur hidup aku dari Tuhan yang sangat terlalu sempurna rupanya.
alhamdulillah. aku syukur. aku redha.
mata kuyu. masa dah tiba untuk jumpa bantal.
afiq, i'll be praying for you always. :)
goodnight. ai-em-wai.
with love,
me.
Thursday, November 4, 2010
spm vs kamu
kalau mereka ni gaduh, siapa agaknya menang?
dua-dua penting.
berhempas pulas likat belikat aku nak bahagi antara dua-dua ni.
bertuah betul.
hari ni, 11 minit selepas jam 12 tgh malam, bertarikh 4 November.
genap .... 19 hari, beberapa jam dan beberapa saat untuk spm.
cantik lah. mata aku masih dengan facebook, twitter, blog, youtube.
*eh eh tolong sikit~ aku dah belajar tadi.*
aku dah usaha. aku dah doa. tawakal je lah lepas ni.
and of course aku akan usaha dan doa lagi.
dah dekat-dekat tarikh keramat 23 Nov ni, banyak pulak benda yang lebih menarik perhatian aku.
ngeee ... :)
first, kamu. second, awak. third, kitak.
ala. orang yang sama je.
orang cakap jangan angau bila dah dekat spm.
aku lagi suka angau dekat-dekat spm.
sebab itu lebih kurang macam menambah semangat aku.
but then, sometimes, it really distracts me as i will often termengelamun.
tak sengaja lah. its nice though.
wey, sumpah i miss you. i miss talking to you.
cepat-cepat lah habis exam.
kacau betul lah exam.
stupid exam. tau tak, exam tu hanya menghancurkan lagi ekosistem alam sekitar?
haish. wahai kerajaan ku sayang, i dont like exams.
especially massive ones. SERIOUSLY.
i'll blog later. mr pillow is calling.
afiq, sweet dreams. ai-em-wai.
with love,
me.
dua-dua penting.
berhempas pulas likat belikat aku nak bahagi antara dua-dua ni.
bertuah betul.
hari ni, 11 minit selepas jam 12 tgh malam, bertarikh 4 November.
genap .... 19 hari, beberapa jam dan beberapa saat untuk spm.
cantik lah. mata aku masih dengan facebook, twitter, blog, youtube.
*eh eh tolong sikit~ aku dah belajar tadi.*
aku dah usaha. aku dah doa. tawakal je lah lepas ni.
and of course aku akan usaha dan doa lagi.
dah dekat-dekat tarikh keramat 23 Nov ni, banyak pulak benda yang lebih menarik perhatian aku.
ngeee ... :)
first, kamu. second, awak. third, kitak.
ala. orang yang sama je.
orang cakap jangan angau bila dah dekat spm.
aku lagi suka angau dekat-dekat spm.
sebab itu lebih kurang macam menambah semangat aku.
but then, sometimes, it really distracts me as i will often termengelamun.
tak sengaja lah. its nice though.
wey, sumpah i miss you. i miss talking to you.
cepat-cepat lah habis exam.
kacau betul lah exam.
stupid exam. tau tak, exam tu hanya menghancurkan lagi ekosistem alam sekitar?
haish. wahai kerajaan ku sayang, i dont like exams.
especially massive ones. SERIOUSLY.
i'll blog later. mr pillow is calling.
afiq, sweet dreams. ai-em-wai.
with love,
me.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
can't help it.
this is killing me.
like, seriously killing me.
by the middle of the week, im dead already. why? because you murdered me. literally murdering me by being so silent.
i know. i know. i'm being so childish. but i CAN'T HELP IT.
i know. i know. we don't even have any ties between us. but i CAN'T HELP IT.
i know. i know. i'm being freakishly ridiculous. but i CAN'T HELP IT.
awak dapat diibaratkan macam chipsmore.
kejap ada, kejap takda.
since awak suka sangat makan cookies, memang cun lah. awak memang macam biskut.
*slapping my own face**dush dush*
SNAP OUT OF IT!
makin selalu orang cakap pasal awak, makin bertambah-tambah rasa terbunuh dalam diri saya.
yes, i admit that i love it when the conversation is about you. although i would blush all the way through the conversation, but i would still like it. no matter what.
i tried restraining myself from this. because i thought i had enough. and because i really need to stop all these. but then, i got caught up with you.
its partly your fault. and partly, mine.
its my fault for being so kenja. <-- that is the best word.
its your fault for being so ...... nice?
oh, about your so called 'im asking you for a date' thing , can you ask me again?
because i regretted saying no the last time.
hear yi, hear yi.
i have an annoucement.
i miss him.
like, seriously killing me.
by the middle of the week, im dead already. why? because you murdered me. literally murdering me by being so silent.
i know. i know. i'm being so childish. but i CAN'T HELP IT.
i know. i know. we don't even have any ties between us. but i CAN'T HELP IT.
i know. i know. i'm being freakishly ridiculous. but i CAN'T HELP IT.
awak dapat diibaratkan macam chipsmore.
kejap ada, kejap takda.
since awak suka sangat makan cookies, memang cun lah. awak memang macam biskut.
*slapping my own face**dush dush*
SNAP OUT OF IT!
makin selalu orang cakap pasal awak, makin bertambah-tambah rasa terbunuh dalam diri saya.
yes, i admit that i love it when the conversation is about you. although i would blush all the way through the conversation, but i would still like it. no matter what.
i tried restraining myself from this. because i thought i had enough. and because i really need to stop all these. but then, i got caught up with you.
its partly your fault. and partly, mine.
its my fault for being so kenja. <-- that is the best word.
its your fault for being so ...... nice?
oh, about your so called 'im asking you for a date' thing , can you ask me again?
because i regretted saying no the last time.
hear yi, hear yi.
i have an annoucement.
i miss him.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
selamat hari raya aidilfitri
tahun ni, beraya dengan mother and brothers.
sister tak dapat balik malaysia.
and how we miss her so f...ing much.
;)
tak mao panjang-panjang lah.
Selamat menyambut hari raya aidilfitri to all muslim all around the world.
*especially my sister yang tengah beraya dengan cik syira di Tulsa*
Maaf zahir dan batin jika ada :
1) tersilap kata
2) terlanjur bicara
3) terguris hati
4) terkecil rasa
5) terpukul sikit
6) terpukul banyak
dan banyak lagi ter..
sesungguhnya TER itu membawa maksud tidak sengaja.
*kalau niat di hati aku memang sengaja, maafkan lah jugak. :)
oh, rumah terbuka di kediaman aku. sabtu nanti, 18th sept 2010, start pukul 2 ptg.
jangan lupa datang. spaghetti bolognese air tangan mama baik punya!
dress code :: baju melayu for guys, baju kurung or kebaya for ladies.
*yang lain, tak diterima. haha!
sister tak dapat balik malaysia.
and how we miss her so f...ing much.
;)
tak mao panjang-panjang lah.
Selamat menyambut hari raya aidilfitri to all muslim all around the world.
*especially my sister yang tengah beraya dengan cik syira di Tulsa*
Maaf zahir dan batin jika ada :
1) tersilap kata
2) terlanjur bicara
3) terguris hati
4) terkecil rasa
5) terpukul sikit
6) terpukul banyak
dan banyak lagi ter..
sesungguhnya TER itu membawa maksud tidak sengaja.
*kalau niat di hati aku memang sengaja, maafkan lah jugak. :)
oh, rumah terbuka di kediaman aku. sabtu nanti, 18th sept 2010, start pukul 2 ptg.
jangan lupa datang. spaghetti bolognese air tangan mama baik punya!
dress code :: baju melayu for guys, baju kurung or kebaya for ladies.
*yang lain, tak diterima. haha!
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
bila aku jadi kaku.
adoi.
aku lah paling lame.
LAME. >,<
tahap gaban.
aku punyalah berharap hingga ke langit agar dapat jumpa dengan dia lagi.
dan. tadi aku terserempak dengan dia. BEST KAN?
nadi aku terus jadi macam F1 dekat litar sepang.
jantung aku terus jadi macam mat rempit tengah betting.
<3
dan bila nadi dan jantung jadi laju. aku jadi kaku.
aiya!
dia betul-betul depan mata aku.
aku ni teruk lah!
ergh.
sekarang ni aku rasa sangat menyesal.
bila lagi aku dapat jumpa dia?
adow.
kenalah aku tunggu genie untuk grant me more wishes.
and that will be berapa lama lagi?
alahai~
dearest you, i hope we can see each other again. like, seriouly.
i am wishing really hard to see you again.
sampai kawan aku cakap, THAT IS SO YOU. -,-'
maknanya, aku dah selalu sangat buat macam ni!
bila lagi aku nak bertukar??
tolonglah jangan bagi aku jadi kaku the next time aku jumpa dia.
frust menonggeng aku macam ni. ;(
aku lah paling lame.
LAME. >,<
tahap gaban.
aku punyalah berharap hingga ke langit agar dapat jumpa dengan dia lagi.
dan. tadi aku terserempak dengan dia. BEST KAN?
nadi aku terus jadi macam F1 dekat litar sepang.
jantung aku terus jadi macam mat rempit tengah betting.
<3
dan bila nadi dan jantung jadi laju. aku jadi kaku.
aiya!
dia betul-betul depan mata aku.
aku ni teruk lah!
ergh.
sekarang ni aku rasa sangat menyesal.
bila lagi aku dapat jumpa dia?
adow.
kenalah aku tunggu genie untuk grant me more wishes.
and that will be berapa lama lagi?
alahai~
dearest you, i hope we can see each other again. like, seriouly.
i am wishing really hard to see you again.
sampai kawan aku cakap, THAT IS SO YOU. -,-'
maknanya, aku dah selalu sangat buat macam ni!
bila lagi aku nak bertukar??
tolonglah jangan bagi aku jadi kaku the next time aku jumpa dia.
frust menonggeng aku macam ni. ;(
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
all about camping. and some other thing.
venue :: Marriot Resort and Spa Miri
date :: 4th and 5th of September 2010
organisers :: UCSI University and GES Global
name of camp :: Ready! Set! Go!
ok. let me start by congratulating the organisers for putting a really huge effort to make this camp a great success. and it was indeed a fabulously great success!
it really didnt feel like a camp. it felt like we were just going for a sleepover at the hotel. nice kan? it was superb. especially the fact that the hotel was full of my friends!!!
there was prank calls, and other crazy things that we did for the whole 2 days 1 night stay.
i wished the camp was longer. ah, well.. at least i joined it! and it was full of enjoyment. love it.
oh, i found new friends.
i found new moments to be cherished.
i found new heart. ;D
he is ...
from ...
he is so ...
we shared a lot of things in common.
<3 ..
haha!
but then, i told my closest and dearest about this.
my mom said that i curang. haha! XD
technically, i am not in a relationship with anyone. so, the word curang should not be here.
but then, why do i feel so wrong?
and oh, he is doing the same thing. if he is doing it, why cant i? kan?
so, technically, i am not wrong. and should not be blamed for being curang. right?
a'hah! that proves my innocence.
i like both of them. what can i do?
i like them both way more than just friends.
its not love. its.... admiration?
ok. aku dah start merapu. stop it.
goodnight you and awak.
sweet dreams. <3
date :: 4th and 5th of September 2010
organisers :: UCSI University and GES Global
name of camp :: Ready! Set! Go!
ok. let me start by congratulating the organisers for putting a really huge effort to make this camp a great success. and it was indeed a fabulously great success!
it really didnt feel like a camp. it felt like we were just going for a sleepover at the hotel. nice kan? it was superb. especially the fact that the hotel was full of my friends!!!
there was prank calls, and other crazy things that we did for the whole 2 days 1 night stay.
i wished the camp was longer. ah, well.. at least i joined it! and it was full of enjoyment. love it.
oh, i found new friends.
i found new moments to be cherished.
i found new heart. ;D
he is ...
from ...
he is so ...
we shared a lot of things in common.
<3 ..
haha!
but then, i told my closest and dearest about this.
my mom said that i curang. haha! XD
technically, i am not in a relationship with anyone. so, the word curang should not be here.
but then, why do i feel so wrong?
and oh, he is doing the same thing. if he is doing it, why cant i? kan?
so, technically, i am not wrong. and should not be blamed for being curang. right?
a'hah! that proves my innocence.
i like both of them. what can i do?
i like them both way more than just friends.
its not love. its.... admiration?
ok. aku dah start merapu. stop it.
goodnight you and awak.
sweet dreams. <3
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