nawaitu

dedicated to my mama.

mama, saya tak pernah ada niat pun nak kecewakan mama dengan perbuatan dan percakapan saya.
kadang-kadang benda tu saya sendiri tak sedar saya buat. tapi mama nampak.

mama, saya tak pernah ada niat pun nak kecilkan hati mama. kadang-kadang, saya ni terlalu ego untuk minta maaf. mama terguris.

so --here it goes.

For everything that has not been said,

For everything that has not been done,

For every tears that rolled down your cheek,

For every anger that has been showed,

For every disappointment that I gave

For every single thing I did

I'm sorry.

For everything that has been said,

For everything that has been done

For every smile that you put on,

For every wisdom that you gave

For every happiness you showered me with,

For everything that you did,

I thank you.

lepas ni, saya dah nak pegi sambung belajar. UiTM alor gajah is calling me from far.
mama jaga diri okeh? i wont be around you everyday dah.
kalau nak teman gadoh, syafiq ada. haha.

bless my journey mama. InsyaAllah, i'll make you proud. i'll make everyone proud of the child you brought up single-handedly.

i love you and i'll be thinking of you always my dearest mother ♥

with much much love for you mama,
me.

pengorbanan

my dearest UiTM, thank you so much for the offer. i know bukannya senang nak dapat tawaran ni.
among semua lepasan tingkatan 5 yang apply untuk the same course, i am one of the chosen one untuk dapat this tawaran ni. so -- thank you so much.

tapi sangat sangat sangat sangat sangat sangat -- crushed.
bukan tak bersyukur. i am so grateful sebab dapat this tawaran.
but -- i dont know. maybe i didn't expect it to be this fast and this early. i expected it to be a bit later than this.

• rindu aku kat afiq masa dia jauh pun belum habis lagi. and now, i am going to go far. melaka pulak tu! gila jaoh! at least afiq belajar kat mukah je. still dalam sarawak. aku? seberang laut! dah la uitm alor gajah tu macam agak jauh dari bandar.
• first time aku tak dapat puasa ngn family esp ngn mama!
  
• this is not like when i was in camp. tiap2 minggu org boleh dtg jmpa me, bwk makanan or something. i will be all alone kat melaka nanti. bukannya aku kenal anyone kat sana nanti.
  

mama said, i'll be going to kl for the pendaftaran on the 20th of may. from today -- 20th may will be in two weeks time. 2 more weeks to be spent with family, aliens and sayang. tak cukup lah!

sacrifices must be made to continue on living. what a stupid quote.
die u whoever created that quote.

sayang, hold on tight to my promise.
i love you so much ♥

with much love for him and a lil bit crushed,
me.

harap

this thing has always been a part of me yang orang lain tengok, and tak berapa suka. dah ramai orang tegur. tapi i just can't do anything lah. it is like my weakness. and benda ni jugak, aku agak friendly and cepat senang dengan orang.

aku senang kesian kat orang. aku jagakan sangat hati orang lain.

bila sifat aku ni 'menyerlah' , orang-orang yang suka ambik kesempatan -- pijak kepala aku.
*dush dush* tumbukan tepat!

aku baru perasan, aku selalu biarkan perasaan aku untuk senangkan dia.

jadi, aku harap -- dia bukan antara orang yang suka ambik kesempatan atas kebaikan orang lain.
aku sayangkan dia.

*baki kesabaran aku : 15%*

with love,
me.

nasib

nasib baik tak ramai orang tahu about this blog.
kalau tak, orang akan tambah meluat dengan all my post.
most of it, mesti ada nama 'afiq' <--- here's one more!
hahahah.

NASIB LAAA! kalau x suka, jgn baca. my blog. sukati aku la. okeh?

thank you loveliest.

with love,
me.

its 29th of april

congratulations to His Royal Highness Prince William and Her Royal Highness Princess Kate, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge. :)
what a service that was.
i love the wedding dress! love it. wish it's mine in the future. haha! *sangat berangan*

i didnt get to see the whole event actually. haha. i saw the first part and the last part. i didnt see the main event.

why oh why?

because! i went to pick up my sayang kat terminal bus tadi. woot woot!!! i just love him to bits and pieces.
yes, he is back already! and im so happy! ♥ ♥ ♥

lepas pick him up tadi, we went to the pasar malam. beli makanan for orang kat rumah.
then, pegi balik rumah cikgu.
uish.. aku rasa macam aku pulak yang disambut. the sisters was so happy to see me. i was happy to see them!!! i really felt like a part of the family already. thank you dearest future family. hahaha!

itu je nak cerita actually. :) teeheee. i love my dearest afiq ♥

with love,
me.

go with the flow

dengan penuh sabar, aku menunggu tarikh keramat untuk dia balik.
29 april 2011, datanglah cepat sikit.

so -- updates!

i just came back from KL.

1. applied for US Visa. and it is aprroved! :)
2. UiTM interview. Mass Communication. which have always been my interest. i think, i did quite well for it.
3. keluar dengan kawan kem. nada, ya, fara & galah.
   

first. about US and UiTM.
oh my god.. im so torn between two worlds.
the plan is : we are going to the US on the 28th of may. end of may.
the most anticipated event!
then -- here comes a curve ball.
UiTM : intake is in MAY.

so, chances of me going to US is? IF i request for the december intake, would they allow it? i mean like -- punya lah ramai orang nak masuk U cepat-cepat. lagi-lagi, UiTM. here i am -- nak tangguh sbb nak pg US. well, it is a maybe once in a lifetime experience. kan? so, how now? i dont know. i really really wanna go to US. and i really wanna get started dengan my studies.

dah la kalau i dont go to US, tiket semua dah book -- hotel pun -- takkan la nak burn macam tu je? itu semua duit okay. bukan senang nak cari duit. sorang is like -- RM3000.
sayang la duit.

haih. okay. next! UiTM interview. it went well i think. i answered dengan penuh confidence.
antara soalan cepumas; apa nama CM sarawak? sapa nama bini baru CM Sarawak. hahaha!
soalan senang. hahaha! and she was like -- oh, you know! you really do have the characteristics of a journalist! and my reaction? -- oh? really? thank you! *with the biggest smile on my face*
percentage of me getting it? 60% maybe? too much --? yeah.

entah la. i want it. but at the same time, i want US too.
really really hoping i cant get the best of both worlds.

nak cerita about my outing dengan geng plkn kat midvalley last saturday. tapi, mcm no mood pulak nak cerita.
skip this one. :)

29th april! i am so waiting anxiously for this day to come. the day that he is coming back for good. i miss him terribly. gosh. i really can go crazy waiting.
imagine how deeply and madly in love i am right now. well, he IS my first REAL love.

afiq sayang, i'll be waiting for you. and i'll be there when you reach miri. okay? i'll be the one yang sambut ktk dr terminal bas kelak, ok? i'll be there with the biggest smile on my face. lamak dah kita tunggu 29 april tok nk? it's going to come soon. i love you so much. please know that i'm missing you so much.
every second i have. trust me.

oh, i'm so in love. i ♥ you so much, encik afiq. :)

with the deepest love to the core,
me.

never thought i'd think about this ..

hello blogness! :) it has been about 2 weeks. haha.
agak tak betul lah intro kali ni.

UPDATES!

1. spm results : 1A+2A 1A- 2B+ 2C 2D
2. future diploma course : mass communication
   
3. future college : taylor's @ UiTM -- still thinking.
   
4. madly in love
   
5. worried.

kaitkan semua. walaupun its not suppose to be a problem -- i am actually very very worried.
all my life, i want to be the best. i want to further my studies. that has always been a priority in my life. i have chosen to be in taylor's or UiTM. both are in KL.

for the first time in my life, i am deeply in love. and this time, its real. not imaginary boyfriend. haha! he is my first love. i love him to the deepest core of the earth. and he loves me too.

can u relate both of it? and why the fact that im worried?

i am always the one that says, 'alaaaa. relax laaa. kalau dah jodoh, tak kemana nya laaa.. awk rentas laut ke, panjat gunung ke, terbang ke, kalau dah di takdirkan awk dgn dia, mmg awk akn bersama dgn dia..'
but now, im actually IN the situation. and now i know how it feels and how annoying is that statement.

its not that i don't trust him. i trust him. i just don't trust people around him.

i cant deal with this. omg. omg. omg. ttyl.
bye.

with love,
me.