new

i survived a week in my new place.
setakt ni, okay la. baru lepas MDS. which stands for Minggu Destini Siswa. which means orientation week. :)

found new friends sudah. :)
mari saya kenalkan.

1. Shah Hadfina (shah) - Kedah
2. Farah Izzaty (farah) - Puncak Alam
3. Syafinor Arisha (arisha) - Pulau Pinang
4. Nur Fatihah Nadia (ann) - Klang
5. Wan Hanis Sophia (sophia) - Melaka

left to right : farah, jihan, shah, arisha.

taken by sophia. ann dah letih, so tak larat nak ambik-ambik gambar.
this was taken masa minggu destini siswa, dekat dataran keris, uitm alor gajah.

agak okay la campus life now.
i can do this. yes i can!

in this post, i just want to introduce THE BEBAI.
hahaha. buruk sungguh nama itu.


with love,
me.

tempat orang

i am now in Shah Alam. rumah aunty.
i am now so damn bored. nothing to do.
i am now wishing im in miri. funner.

esok akan teruskan perjalanan ke alor gajah, melaka.
harap barang semua dah lengkap.

dah mula homesick.
im sick. homesick. lovesick.

with so much lonesome in me now,
me.

if only

if only you knew,
how often you're on my mind and how just a thought of you can make me happy

if only you knew,
the love for you that's so much a part of me every day

if only you knew,
all those things i fail to say, you'd know you are loved every minute of everyday.

with lots of love and missing you so much,
me.

prayers

he has to go back to mukah tomorrow.
kena buat penilaian khas.
will only come back to miri on the 17th of June.

i have to go continue my studies in alor gajah.
will only be back maybe masa raya nanti.
itupun, kalau mama bagi balik miri.
mama plans to raya in shah alam.

we're supposed to go out tomorrow. tapi, dah dia kena pegi mukah again esok pagi. what can we do?

we spent out time together today. oh sangat sedih.
he gave me this necklace. ohsolovely.
i love it, yes i do.
nanti lah ambik gambar and put it up here.

rasa macam masa tu jalan laju sangat bila kita taknak dia laju.
kejam kan?

today : we went bowling, pantai and just enjoying every second we have together.

honestly, i am not ready for this separation.
tapi, orang cakap -- belajar untuk berjauhan dari awal relationship.
orang mana yang cakap tu? agak *pandai*.
apa motif nya? so that every moment we are together, we will cherish and treasure it and not waste it.
mungkinkah agak betul? yaaa. sangat betul. :)

well, me and him berjauhan pun sebab belajar. it is for our own future.
brighter future for us.

we will be together again, my love.

with so much love for you and only you,
me.

sayang

i love you, abdul afiq bin abdul malik.
i love you deeply.
:)

lupa bagi warning awal2. haha. nasib lah.
♥

with love,
afiq's special girl.

silap

im getting to like using 1 word as the title. rasa macam mysterious sikit.
it says so little but means so much. kan?

dalam dunia ni, tak pernah wujud orang yang tak pernah buat silap.
sekecil mana pun silapnya, itu masih dikira sebagai kesilapan.
nampok beno nipunye kalau ada orang mengaku tak pernah buat silap.

tapi, the important thing after making a mistake is to not repeat it again. you are a fool if you repeat the mistakes you did when you know it is wrong. its like, you did not learn anything from it. it is equivalent to not having and using your common sense.

semua orang ada common sense. use it fully. ada sebab kenapa Tuhan bagi akal kan?
jadi kalau tak guna, don't you think that is such a waste?

yang penting, buat silap then belajar dari kesilapan.

sayang afiq, thank you for coming clean to me. as what i said, i accepted your past mistakes. what you did was very very wrong, but please promise me, you will never ever repeat the same mistakes anymore.

you are now leading the correct road. stay on it.
do it for you.
do it for me.
do it for us.

with much love for my sayang,
me.

lagu yang menyeksa jiwa

i am now counting the days. asal malam je, aku nangis. :(
i am too sad to leave.

1) Your Call - Secondhand Serenade
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GkuypwKUX2Y

best line (s) :

• cause i was born to tell you i love you and i am torn to do what i have to ...

• and im tired of being all alone and this solitary moment makes me want to come back home ...

2) Dan Bila Esok - Sofaz
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7_O8frmChPA

best line (s) :

• dan bila esok, kita kan bertemu kembali, masihkah ada ruang di dalam hatimu ...

3) Selamat Tinggal - Dina Nadzir feat Zizan Raja Lawak
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1JwGAOqsdqQ

best line (s) :

• tak mudah untuk aku pergi, bila wajahmu sentiasa di hati ini ...

• hidupku cuma bermakna bila kau di sisi ...

• namun aku terpaksa melepaskanmu baby, selamat tinggal ...

aku suka seksa diri. haha. nanti bila dah jauh, and bila aku dah selesa kat tempat baru, aku akan baca balik -- and maybe akan ketawa kat diri sendiri sebab terlalu emo. :)

*jihan, please be reminded -- when you are reading this again latter on -- you are loved. and always will be loved.

to my beloved aliens, farrah iman, adilla fitriyah, dayang liyana
--- dont have fun too much when im not around. haha! :) i love you. ktk org 3 semua still dlm miri. me jak yang seberang laut. so -- mun rasa maok cuti2 malaysia, datang melaka ok? A Famosa dekat jak ngn my campus. :) sentiasa lah baca my blog. okeh? haha!

to my teddy bear, my love, my dearest, abdul afiq
--- hold on tight to my promise. and i'll hold on to yours. trust. mak kmk pesan, 'percaya dengan takdir dan jodoh' . note that, right this moment, i am madly in love with you. i'll forever miss you sayang ♥ we may not be ready to leave each other yet, tapi -- both of us have to finish our studies. sementara kmk belajar kat melaka, ktk keja k? :) pasya boleh ktk dtg jumpa kmk kat melaka. kita pegi cuti sama2 ka -- ok? ouh! next family vacation ktk, suggest ngn ayah or bapak, ktk org dtg melaka! campus kmk dkat ngn A Famosa. adik msti suka! i love you so much sayang. ♥

with much much much love for my aliens and my dearest lovable boyfriend,
me.

nawaitu

dedicated to my mama.

mama, saya tak pernah ada niat pun nak kecewakan mama dengan perbuatan dan percakapan saya.
kadang-kadang benda tu saya sendiri tak sedar saya buat. tapi mama nampak.

mama, saya tak pernah ada niat pun nak kecilkan hati mama. kadang-kadang, saya ni terlalu ego untuk minta maaf. mama terguris.

so --here it goes.

For everything that has not been said,

For everything that has not been done,

For every tears that rolled down your cheek,

For every anger that has been showed,

For every disappointment that I gave

For every single thing I did

I'm sorry.

For everything that has been said,

For everything that has been done

For every smile that you put on,

For every wisdom that you gave

For every happiness you showered me with,

For everything that you did,

I thank you.

lepas ni, saya dah nak pegi sambung belajar. UiTM alor gajah is calling me from far.
mama jaga diri okeh? i wont be around you everyday dah.
kalau nak teman gadoh, syafiq ada. haha.

bless my journey mama. InsyaAllah, i'll make you proud. i'll make everyone proud of the child you brought up single-handedly.

i love you and i'll be thinking of you always my dearest mother ♥

with much much love for you mama,
me.

pengorbanan

my dearest UiTM, thank you so much for the offer. i know bukannya senang nak dapat tawaran ni.
among semua lepasan tingkatan 5 yang apply untuk the same course, i am one of the chosen one untuk dapat this tawaran ni. so -- thank you so much.

tapi sangat sangat sangat sangat sangat sangat -- crushed.
bukan tak bersyukur. i am so grateful sebab dapat this tawaran.
but -- i dont know. maybe i didn't expect it to be this fast and this early. i expected it to be a bit later than this.

• rindu aku kat afiq masa dia jauh pun belum habis lagi. and now, i am going to go far. melaka pulak tu! gila jaoh! at least afiq belajar kat mukah je. still dalam sarawak. aku? seberang laut! dah la uitm alor gajah tu macam agak jauh dari bandar.
• first time aku tak dapat puasa ngn family esp ngn mama!
  
• this is not like when i was in camp. tiap2 minggu org boleh dtg jmpa me, bwk makanan or something. i will be all alone kat melaka nanti. bukannya aku kenal anyone kat sana nanti.
  

mama said, i'll be going to kl for the pendaftaran on the 20th of may. from today -- 20th may will be in two weeks time. 2 more weeks to be spent with family, aliens and sayang. tak cukup lah!

sacrifices must be made to continue on living. what a stupid quote.
die u whoever created that quote.

sayang, hold on tight to my promise.
i love you so much ♥

with much love for him and a lil bit crushed,
me.

harap

this thing has always been a part of me yang orang lain tengok, and tak berapa suka. dah ramai orang tegur. tapi i just can't do anything lah. it is like my weakness. and benda ni jugak, aku agak friendly and cepat senang dengan orang.

aku senang kesian kat orang. aku jagakan sangat hati orang lain.

bila sifat aku ni 'menyerlah' , orang-orang yang suka ambik kesempatan -- pijak kepala aku.
*dush dush* tumbukan tepat!

aku baru perasan, aku selalu biarkan perasaan aku untuk senangkan dia.

jadi, aku harap -- dia bukan antara orang yang suka ambik kesempatan atas kebaikan orang lain.
aku sayangkan dia.

*baki kesabaran aku : 15%*

with love,
me.