take a bow 2011

oh 2011!

what a journey i had throughout this year!

lets recap!

http://hikayattiadajudul.blogspot.com/2010/12/drum-roll-untuk-2011.html

1. i hope for a long lasting relationship. ♥

i am loving afiq each and everyday of my life. and i know deep inside me, he is too. ;)

2. i hope for a great spm results.

well, i got 4As. that is great enough for me. :)

3. i hope for a placement in the best university

i am a proud student of UiTM. *proud konon, tapi boleh lah. at least i got in* :)

4. i hope for a happy family.

i have the best family. althought we are the fairytale family, at least we are loving each other and no matter what, we are still and forever a family. :)

5. i hope for a time of my life.

i went to Los Angeles. disneyland, universal studios. i went to see my dear sister graduate in seattle. it was a time of my life. :)

6. i hope for a never ending relationship with my fav aliens.

i still love them! they still love me. we are still having our great times together.

7. i hope for a broader mind and knowledge and experience.

i learnt so much this year. i went through a lot, therefore -- every road taken gives its own moral and lesson. every mistake i did, i learnt from it. aside from that, my course is amazing. taught me a lot so far

8. i hope for a bright future.

i am still hoping for it. but, from here and now, it looks bright to me. looks like, i am getting a great career, i am getting married, i am going to have children, and so much more! :)

9. i hope for a stable financial security

ouh, this one. this hurts.

10. i hope for a better and happier life.

i am happy as ever. i have everything. i am contented.

did i achieve any of these resolutions?

checked, 9 out of 10 ! outstanding!

:)

guess which one i didn't achieve. :D

if you guessed number 9, you guessed right! :) hahah!

before i get to my 2012 resolution,

i would like to thank 2011 for being so great to me all year round. i had my ups and downs. but went through it pretty darn well though. there are so many people that i want to thank.

family dearest.

sayang afiq.

aliens terbaik.

you have been so great to me. i love you.

okay! lets get to the chase! 2012 resolutions!

1. another DL, perhaps? insyaAllah.
2. forever loving me boyfriend. *i love you dearest afiq sayang*
3. to constantly cherish everything that comes into my way.
4. to be a great person.
5. make changes in anyone's life. making it big.
6. a better health
7. family's happiness is my happiness
8. to love and to hold everyone that change me for the better.
9. enjoy every single moment that i have with all my kesayangan
10. to be known for what i am.

thank you 2011 for everything,

now, it is time for you to take a bow.

with love,

me.

dua kali peluang

sebab aku tak pernah nampak lain selain apa yang benar-benar di depan mata.

sebab aku tak pernah rasa lain selain apa yang benar-benar sepatutnya aku rasa.

jadi, untuk kau. aku cuba pandang perkara yang di belakang mata.

aku mengambil risiko.

besar risikonya.

untuk kau. aku cuba

harap kau faham.

with love,

me.

hello december!

I AM BACK IN MELAKA

yeah. kembali mengharungi hari-hari di melaka.
sem ni, ada fakulti baru. i mean, masscomm sekarang ada bangunan baru. and bangunan tu kat atas bukit. gila lah everyday turun naik bukit.
how i wish i already have my license.

dah dua minggu since i left miri.
few days ago, i think it was last week, i had a badass homesick feeling. ouch.
i cried my f***ing ass off.

this sem, i am taking :
1- Managerial Communication
2- Writing for Mass Media
3- Interpersonal Communication
4- Sociology
and some other subject biasa.
setakat ni, the stress is kicking in dah sikit sikit. semua subject dah ada dateline sendiri.
mengucap panjang.

im getting the hang of it.
oh, i am missing so many things in back home.
annoyed sangat sebab tak dapat nak join my friends in miri.
birthday party. outing. sleepover.
perggghh.
i miss all of it.
;)

i miss my cousin's wedding in kuching.
family semua fly to kuching for the wedding.
haihh. double annoyed.
i miss family gatherings.

my sayang just had a rough week.
and i missed being there for him.
i miss him.

now what?

with lots of love,
me.

di ambang

currently, i have about 8 days left in miri. he is, once again, so right. it is never enough.
leaving again is equally painful with leaving for the first time.

'cuba bayangkan dia takda, kau takkan rasa susah sangat la'
jangan berani persoalkan perasaan aku.
kau tak punya hak untuk persoalkan hal itu.

entah. tiba tiba mixed feelings.
nak nangis, marah, rajuk, gembira.

semuanya sebab nak balik melaka semula.

it's hard. very hard. so, don't question my feelings.
you don't have a clue of what i feel.

mixed feeling,
me

my love

Abang Zed Aziff

Abang Zen Alfi


i love this two boys. :)

with love,
me.

time and again.

time and again.
i have let you down.

time and again.
i have let you down.

time and again.
i have let you down.

time and again.
i have let you down.

time and again.
you need to understand.

i have done the same thing to you.
time and again.

for that, we compromise.

bila saya silap

another day today.
bad day.
hari ini, sekali lagi saya buat silap.
silap besar.





walaupun saya dah buat silap besar,
saya rasa, tak perlu untuk condemn saya teruk sangat.
saya pun manusia juga.
ada perasaan.





awak ingat, awak tak pernah buat silap?
awak antara orang yang tak patut condemn saya.
tapi kenapa?





ingat balik bila masa awak buat silap.
ada saya condemn awak?
saya rasa, saya diamkan diri untuk beri masa awak bertenang.
bila awak dalam keadaan yang telah di-condemn, saya beri masa untuk awak





bye.





perasaan kalut sekarang,
me.

syukur part 2

see what im wearing on my wrist? :) cantik kan? rugi orang yang takda.
credits to miss Dayang Liyana!
i love you, babe!
now, im wearing it everywhere i go.
*terus tak pakai couple watch. hahaha*

the one who has the best group of friends in the whole wide world,
me.

syukur

i love you, sayang .. ♥


speechless but had the greatest moment ever.
;)

with lots of love,
me.

selesai

perjuangan untuk semester 1 sudah tamat.
seterusnya, aku akan melangkah ke dalam pertarungan semester kedua. *excited*
makin jauh berjalan, makin banyak ditelan. kan? :)
harap sangat kecemerlangan jadi milik aku untuk setiap semester. amin.
urat belurat aku berselirat ligat untuk harung fasa baru ni.
jadi, amat berharap agar cemerlang. supaya nampak kesungguhan aku berbaloi.

tapi, sebelum perjuangan itu bermula, kita enjoyyy!
esok pagi, penerbangan aku untuk pulang ke miri! *excited 2x*
banyak yang dirancang. tapi, Allah menentukan semuanya. masih juga harap rancangan jalan baik.

alahh.
idea kosong untuk berkarya.

saya sudahi,
me.

final

wow. dah lama la. :) it is 22 september.
puasa dah lepas, raya pun dah lepas.

raya terbaik dengan dia. :*
(credit to alien sebab ambik gambar candid ni)

yes, tahun ni saya beraya dengan dia :)
walaupun raya yang paling singkat, tapi raya yang terbaik.
ketiga-tiga elemen kebahagiaan aku, ada.

1. family :
mama, abang, kakya, syafiq
2. friends :
alien-alien aku
3. love :
my dearest dearest teddy bear

raya aku seminggu je hari tu. then i have to come back to melaka.
sekarang, im having my final exam.
my first final exam in uitm. :)

i am doing fine now. o yeaaaaa!

dah la. need to study.

with lots of patience to go back to miri,
me.

bila kuasa bukan milik kita

apa hak kita nak utus kejahatan ke atas orang lain?
dia manusia juga. punya hati dan perasaan.
apa hak kita nak balas tuba ke atas orang lain?
dia manusia juga. punya akal dan fikiran.

macam kita juga. bayang kalau diri kita terima semua itu. apa rasa?
bila tiba itu, rasa nak maki. rasa nak hamun. semua ada.
itu lah rasa bila kita buat pada orang.

mungkin ada orang takkan percaya pada karma.
namun hal itu memang ada.
mungkin karma tidak datang terus.
namun hal itu memang akan tiba.
mungkin tidak pada hidupan kini.
namun hal itu pasti muncul juga.

kini anda faham?
bila kuasa bukan milik kita. kita jangan sesekali terlintas untuk anggap kita berkuasa.
anda masih seorang manusia yang punya banyak khilaf.
muhasabah diri dulu.

memang saya geram. memang saya marah.
tapi tak apa. saya terima sahaja.
apa guna saya balas? saya tetap akan kalah.
sebab saya berserah pada pusingan hidup ini.
saya masih seorang yang mentah.
masih dianggap belum keluar dari kepompong.
masih belum cukup makan garam macam anda.

saya paling tak suka konfrantasi.
sebab tu orang selalu anggap saya lemah.
selalu depankan orang lain dari diri sendiri.
selalu lebihkan orang lain dari diri sendiri.

akibat?

orang pijak kepala.
sering sangat orang ulang hal ini.
apa masalah saya sekarang ni?

orang kena tahu.
saya ni macam awak juga. manusia juga.
bukan haiwan yang awak boleh arah-arah.
bukan boneka yang awak boleh gerak-gerak.
memang sifat saya macam ni.
kenapa awak tak dapat nak hormati hal itu tentang saya?
saya tak cari pasal dengan awak. kenapa awak nak mulakan perhitungan dengan saya?
ataupun ini memang konsepnya?
konsep menjadi seorang pelajar tahun pertama?

kalau ini konsep, kenapa baru sekarang nak mula buat perhitungan?
kenapa bukan dari awal lagi?
awak punya dendam dengan pelajar tahun-tahun sebelum?
dan awak perlukan seorang pelajar tahun pertama untuk jadi 'punching bag' awak?

fine. teruskan perhitungan awak. saya cuma akan terima dan senyum.
tapi, bersedia sahaja dengan kata-kata kesat dan maki hamun secara halus dari saya.
saya ikhlas. saya bagi secara halus sahaja.
TAK MAMPU LA NAK BAGI DEPAN-DEPAN.

i am not having a hard time here. everybody else has been good to me.
there's always one bad apple from a whole sack.
there's always that one cook that spoil the broth.

it's okay. i'll live.
11 days to go.
then, i will be back home where i belong and where comfort and love are all around me.

family.
friends.
love.
wait for my homecoming, okay?
i love you so much.
:)

with lots of patience,
me.

day 11 of ramadhan

time flies! real fast :)
it is now day 11 of fasting month. how am i? ah well. still surviving.
only phone calls can make me happy.
only phone calls.

dah 11 hari ni, boleh tahan la. membiasakan diri balik dengan buka puasa pukul 730. imsak 540 pagi. haha.
even waktu sahur pun i await for phone calls.
somebody will call me all the way from miri just to wake me up for sahur.
:) because i rarely wake up for sahur. i can still survive not having my sahur.
but then, if he still wants to call, i am more glad.
pagi-pagi dah boleh dengar suara dia. bukan selalu pun!
bulan puasa je boleh macam ni.
kalau hari biasa, memang bertuah la dia nak call pagi-pagi buta!
aku pun sangat bertuah la nak bangun awal pagi.

sekarang ni, aku tak la busy sangat. normal amount of assignments, kelas pun macam biasa.
so takde la beza sangat pun puasa or tak puasa.

the nearer i am to the day im going back, the more missing-ness i feel in my bones.
we call that super-excited!

before balik ni, aku jalan banyak.
and many sorts of things happen to me.
i went out yesterday. jalan-jalan around melaka. gila seronok!
naik menara taming sari. pegi a famosa. dataran pahlawan. mahkota parade. archery. karaoke.
omg. gila serious seronok! :)
walaupun puasa, tapi sikit pun tak rasa letih or penat. enjoy sangat. haha!

thank you kawan-kawan. :)

nak cerita about what happened to me today. but then, macam malas semacam je. movies menunggu aku. haha.

sayang afiq, ktk jgn lupak rehat byk2 k..? mun ktk xsihat klak, susah kmk.. susah hati kmk syg.. i love you so much dear.. 15 hari gik k? tunggu kmk k syg? i'll be home soon..

with love,
me.

the time has come.

today marks the first day of fasting in the year 2011.
this year, is the first year im fasting without those important people.
my family. mama, syafiq, kakya, abang.
my friends. laala, maman, nana, adib, sapri, ibrahim, and others.
puasa with all these new surrounding and stuff is so --- i cant take it.
it feels so alien to me.

i dont want to wake up for sahur when somebody from the other room calls.
i want mama to wake me up.
i want the smell of fried chicken from the kitchen woke me up.
i want those.
i dont want to eat petty foodstuff for sahur.
i want mama's fried rice.
i want to buy lauk with mama.
i want those.

*dasar budak part 1 yang homesick*

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=en73dyohcZ0

this year is the first year im celebrating raya with a new special someone in my life.
he is waiting for me in miri. he has been waiting for me from the day he left for mukah.
i have been waiting for raya from the day i left for melaka.

it is going to be an exciting raya this year. amin.
i just have to go through this one ramadhan by myself for once. get it over with and enjoy raya.
:)

dearest love ones in miri, wait for my homecoming okay?

with lots of patience to go back to miri,
me.

masih bertahan.

16 July 2011, genap la 2 bulan aku berada di tempat orang.
genap la 2 bulan aku tak jumpa dgn encik afiq ♥ . ;(

i truly truly miss home. where i can do anything i want. lay around all day long. online all day long. masak all day long. keluar makan ngan mama and syafiq. jumpa my dearest afiq. hangout dengan aliens.

khabar aku?
i am still surviving. makan okay la. wpun tak tentu sangat makan. alhamdulillah masih sihat. cuma sekarang aku agak kelaparan. dengan berbekalkan roti butterscotch, aku akan harung malam ni and esok pagi dengan baik. *clap hands!*

assignments aku?
sama je macam assignment course lain. banyak and challenging. presentation je manjang.. oh meng!!! assignment public speaking tak start lagi! dang it!

masscom okay ke?
aku sebagai budak masscom yang low profile, masih berada atas landasan diri aku sendiri. belum lagi terpesong ke mana2. aku masih terpegang teguh kepada amanat, nasihat dan segala jenis at.

dorm amacam?
aku masih menjadi illegal di bilik orang. bukan tak suka bilik sendiri. cuma tak berapa nak selesa. so, kak fara -- jangan la terasa.

rindu aku kat orang kat miri tu memang takkan habis tau. betapa aku nak balik miri wey! sampai hati flight balik miri tak tunggu aku. chait!
balik nanti, aku nak :

• jumpa afiq. spend time ngn afiq. i love you and miss you terribly sayang..


• jumpa family. have fun ngn family.


• jumpa aliens. go crazy with them. bowling okay? :)


• makan makanan fav aku. mama, masak for me? :)


• enjoy my comfort zone kat rumah. the best.

sekarang ni dah start cuti mid sem. tambah la aku bosan. perasaan aku nak balik miri tu, semakin membuak-buak. and now, i feel like crying.

emo la sekarang. i think aku akan balik bilik and tido.

with so much boredom, sadness and missingness inside me,

me.

baru tahu

rasa macam dah bertahun-tahun aku kat sini. aaaaa!
can somebody magically poof me to miri?
please.
haihhh..

so -- yesterday i went to bandar melaka. dengan shah n arisha.
NAIK BAS. :D PUBLIC TRANSPORT.
culture shock! muka driver bas tu dah la ganas. the conducter pulak cakap kasar-kasar.
the journey was so long! dari kampus ke bandar melaka was like -- an hour ++. macam dari miri pegi... err.. niah? yeaah. or bekenu. :) hehe..

if i were to make the differences, i'd rather go for the public transport in miri.
and aku tak pernah pun naik bas kat miri. except for the one untuk pegi competitions and lawatan.

dengan cuit yang cukup-cukup makan. mama bagi seratus je untuk survive sampai hujung bulan.
nak beli buku lagi, nak bayar tu, bayar ni.
aku baru tahu untuk berjimat.
teeheee.. baru rasa hidup duit kurang. :) ah well.
aku limitkan diri aku untuk beli 5 barang sahaja semalam.
sangatttt tergoda dengan barang-barang kat tesco. baru masuk tesco!
belum lagi masuk mall lain! habis la aku. haha.

i ended up buying -- 5 things! congrats jihan. haha.
hari ni, im fasting. atas 2 sebab. nak ganti puasa and sebab xda duit. kesian tak?
and today -- first day masuk class. and awal-awal lagi, kelas dah kena cancel. -.- i woke up early today sebab excited. tengok2, kena cancel. oh well. ada masa untuk aku online. hehe.

bertuah betul la budak ni. bukak lagu long distane pulakkkk.
now i really really really am missing my dearest afiq. :(

dah.

with love,
me.

when things go out of hands

i am so glad to say that i am now in seattle! :) *hip hip hoorayyyyy!*
it has been about a week now.
last week, we were in Los Angeles. visiting disneyland, universal studios and california adventure
park. it was so much fun! :D
sangat tak sangka i actually rode most of the scary rides. crazyyyyy!
-.- i left my jantung and all my other organs on the rides. haha.

pictures will be put up in facebook when comes the right time. *kemalasan melanda*

now in seattle is 2.50PM, Friday, June 10, 2011.
in malaysia is 5.50AM, Saturday, June 11, 2011.
ye, kami lambat sehari.

kakya will be graduating on saturday. that is tomorrow! yeah yeahhhh.
congratulations and lots of love to my dearest sister, cik zurriya. :)
segila-gila dia pun, she is graduating with HONORS. cayak ko?
hahahah. yes, its true. with honors.
dem bladi praud of her! :D
*clap hands*

i bought a new dress for the event. short dress! at lastt. dapat jugak short dress!
comel la. nanti la upload gambar. haiyaa. still in malas mode. and missing mode.
huhuhu.

i -- miss --boyfriend. AFIQ.
aiyakkkkk.
truly truly missing him.
he is currently in kuching. visiting his grandmother.
sangat tak best bila dia tak dapat online. sebab since im in seattle -- itu je cara untuk stay in touch. kalo kat malaysia, still boleh call or sms.

all i can do now is-- wait and let myself suffer dengan sadness from all the songs he gave.
patience is virtue. patience is virtue. patience is virtue.
i can do this. sabar.
just think that -- he is doing okay and missing you too.

dont cry too much okay? he loves you so much. dont worry. as he said, he's been busy with family stuff and works, therefore -- you have to be understanding and just be patient.
he is missing you too. he is also feeling miserable without you around him. :) *pujuk diri sendiri*

i just need to hear from him. as long as i know he is okay, then -- i'm fine with it.
even then, i will still miss him in person.

news right now : maybe i can't be home in miri for raya. because uitm only cuti for one week. from the 27th August to 7th September.
mama said, 'pendek sangat la awak cuti. tak berbaloi duit mama.'
please mama. jangan buat saya nangis. saya nangis mengalir habis-habis bila mama cakap macam tu. mama, moments. moments.
saya akan mintak duit dari ayah then. i will come back. kalo korang nak raya kat kelantan, go ahead. i'll stay in miri alone. i can still live.
by just writing like this pun aku dah rasa nak nangis.
i have to go back.
i miss my aliens. i miss my boyfriend.
how can i not raya with them? that is just not cool.
selama ni pun, diorang yang lebih kenal aku daripada --- malas la cakap.
nanti orang cakap aku ni lupa daratan.
my only kampung is, miri. no where else.
i have to raya in miri.
you want me go to back to kelantan? yes, i'll go but NOT masa raya.

saya nak balik miri.
saya nak balik miri.
saya nak balik miri.

aliens, rindu ngn ktkorg bhhhhhhh! :(((
sayang, i miss you. i love you. come save me. come for me. i'm dying.

with lots of love and so miserably missing my dearest dearest afiq and lovely aliens,
me.

new

i survived a week in my new place.
setakt ni, okay la. baru lepas MDS. which stands for Minggu Destini Siswa. which means orientation week. :)

found new friends sudah. :)
mari saya kenalkan.

1. Shah Hadfina (shah) - Kedah
2. Farah Izzaty (farah) - Puncak Alam
3. Syafinor Arisha (arisha) - Pulau Pinang
4. Nur Fatihah Nadia (ann) - Klang
5. Wan Hanis Sophia (sophia) - Melaka

left to right : farah, jihan, shah, arisha.

taken by sophia. ann dah letih, so tak larat nak ambik-ambik gambar.
this was taken masa minggu destini siswa, dekat dataran keris, uitm alor gajah.

agak okay la campus life now.
i can do this. yes i can!

in this post, i just want to introduce THE BEBAI.
hahaha. buruk sungguh nama itu.


with love,
me.

tempat orang

i am now in Shah Alam. rumah aunty.
i am now so damn bored. nothing to do.
i am now wishing im in miri. funner.

esok akan teruskan perjalanan ke alor gajah, melaka.
harap barang semua dah lengkap.

dah mula homesick.
im sick. homesick. lovesick.

with so much lonesome in me now,
me.

if only

if only you knew,
how often you're on my mind and how just a thought of you can make me happy

if only you knew,
the love for you that's so much a part of me every day

if only you knew,
all those things i fail to say, you'd know you are loved every minute of everyday.

with lots of love and missing you so much,
me.

prayers

he has to go back to mukah tomorrow.
kena buat penilaian khas.
will only come back to miri on the 17th of June.

i have to go continue my studies in alor gajah.
will only be back maybe masa raya nanti.
itupun, kalau mama bagi balik miri.
mama plans to raya in shah alam.

we're supposed to go out tomorrow. tapi, dah dia kena pegi mukah again esok pagi. what can we do?

we spent out time together today. oh sangat sedih.
he gave me this necklace. ohsolovely.
i love it, yes i do.
nanti lah ambik gambar and put it up here.

rasa macam masa tu jalan laju sangat bila kita taknak dia laju.
kejam kan?

today : we went bowling, pantai and just enjoying every second we have together.

honestly, i am not ready for this separation.
tapi, orang cakap -- belajar untuk berjauhan dari awal relationship.
orang mana yang cakap tu? agak *pandai*.
apa motif nya? so that every moment we are together, we will cherish and treasure it and not waste it.
mungkinkah agak betul? yaaa. sangat betul. :)

well, me and him berjauhan pun sebab belajar. it is for our own future.
brighter future for us.

we will be together again, my love.

with so much love for you and only you,
me.

sayang

i love you, abdul afiq bin abdul malik.
i love you deeply.
:)

lupa bagi warning awal2. haha. nasib lah.
♥

with love,
afiq's special girl.

silap

im getting to like using 1 word as the title. rasa macam mysterious sikit.
it says so little but means so much. kan?

dalam dunia ni, tak pernah wujud orang yang tak pernah buat silap.
sekecil mana pun silapnya, itu masih dikira sebagai kesilapan.
nampok beno nipunye kalau ada orang mengaku tak pernah buat silap.

tapi, the important thing after making a mistake is to not repeat it again. you are a fool if you repeat the mistakes you did when you know it is wrong. its like, you did not learn anything from it. it is equivalent to not having and using your common sense.

semua orang ada common sense. use it fully. ada sebab kenapa Tuhan bagi akal kan?
jadi kalau tak guna, don't you think that is such a waste?

yang penting, buat silap then belajar dari kesilapan.

sayang afiq, thank you for coming clean to me. as what i said, i accepted your past mistakes. what you did was very very wrong, but please promise me, you will never ever repeat the same mistakes anymore.

you are now leading the correct road. stay on it.
do it for you.
do it for me.
do it for us.

with much love for my sayang,
me.

lagu yang menyeksa jiwa

i am now counting the days. asal malam je, aku nangis. :(
i am too sad to leave.

1) Your Call - Secondhand Serenade
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GkuypwKUX2Y

best line (s) :

• cause i was born to tell you i love you and i am torn to do what i have to ...

• and im tired of being all alone and this solitary moment makes me want to come back home ...

2) Dan Bila Esok - Sofaz
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7_O8frmChPA

best line (s) :

• dan bila esok, kita kan bertemu kembali, masihkah ada ruang di dalam hatimu ...

3) Selamat Tinggal - Dina Nadzir feat Zizan Raja Lawak
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1JwGAOqsdqQ

best line (s) :

• tak mudah untuk aku pergi, bila wajahmu sentiasa di hati ini ...

• hidupku cuma bermakna bila kau di sisi ...

• namun aku terpaksa melepaskanmu baby, selamat tinggal ...

aku suka seksa diri. haha. nanti bila dah jauh, and bila aku dah selesa kat tempat baru, aku akan baca balik -- and maybe akan ketawa kat diri sendiri sebab terlalu emo. :)

*jihan, please be reminded -- when you are reading this again latter on -- you are loved. and always will be loved.

to my beloved aliens, farrah iman, adilla fitriyah, dayang liyana
--- dont have fun too much when im not around. haha! :) i love you. ktk org 3 semua still dlm miri. me jak yang seberang laut. so -- mun rasa maok cuti2 malaysia, datang melaka ok? A Famosa dekat jak ngn my campus. :) sentiasa lah baca my blog. okeh? haha!

to my teddy bear, my love, my dearest, abdul afiq
--- hold on tight to my promise. and i'll hold on to yours. trust. mak kmk pesan, 'percaya dengan takdir dan jodoh' . note that, right this moment, i am madly in love with you. i'll forever miss you sayang ♥ we may not be ready to leave each other yet, tapi -- both of us have to finish our studies. sementara kmk belajar kat melaka, ktk keja k? :) pasya boleh ktk dtg jumpa kmk kat melaka. kita pegi cuti sama2 ka -- ok? ouh! next family vacation ktk, suggest ngn ayah or bapak, ktk org dtg melaka! campus kmk dkat ngn A Famosa. adik msti suka! i love you so much sayang. ♥

with much much much love for my aliens and my dearest lovable boyfriend,
me.

nawaitu

dedicated to my mama.

mama, saya tak pernah ada niat pun nak kecewakan mama dengan perbuatan dan percakapan saya.
kadang-kadang benda tu saya sendiri tak sedar saya buat. tapi mama nampak.

mama, saya tak pernah ada niat pun nak kecilkan hati mama. kadang-kadang, saya ni terlalu ego untuk minta maaf. mama terguris.

so --here it goes.

For everything that has not been said,

For everything that has not been done,

For every tears that rolled down your cheek,

For every anger that has been showed,

For every disappointment that I gave

For every single thing I did

I'm sorry.

For everything that has been said,

For everything that has been done

For every smile that you put on,

For every wisdom that you gave

For every happiness you showered me with,

For everything that you did,

I thank you.

lepas ni, saya dah nak pegi sambung belajar. UiTM alor gajah is calling me from far.
mama jaga diri okeh? i wont be around you everyday dah.
kalau nak teman gadoh, syafiq ada. haha.

bless my journey mama. InsyaAllah, i'll make you proud. i'll make everyone proud of the child you brought up single-handedly.

i love you and i'll be thinking of you always my dearest mother ♥

with much much love for you mama,
me.

pengorbanan

my dearest UiTM, thank you so much for the offer. i know bukannya senang nak dapat tawaran ni.
among semua lepasan tingkatan 5 yang apply untuk the same course, i am one of the chosen one untuk dapat this tawaran ni. so -- thank you so much.

tapi sangat sangat sangat sangat sangat sangat -- crushed.
bukan tak bersyukur. i am so grateful sebab dapat this tawaran.
but -- i dont know. maybe i didn't expect it to be this fast and this early. i expected it to be a bit later than this.

• rindu aku kat afiq masa dia jauh pun belum habis lagi. and now, i am going to go far. melaka pulak tu! gila jaoh! at least afiq belajar kat mukah je. still dalam sarawak. aku? seberang laut! dah la uitm alor gajah tu macam agak jauh dari bandar.
• first time aku tak dapat puasa ngn family esp ngn mama!
  
• this is not like when i was in camp. tiap2 minggu org boleh dtg jmpa me, bwk makanan or something. i will be all alone kat melaka nanti. bukannya aku kenal anyone kat sana nanti.
  

mama said, i'll be going to kl for the pendaftaran on the 20th of may. from today -- 20th may will be in two weeks time. 2 more weeks to be spent with family, aliens and sayang. tak cukup lah!

sacrifices must be made to continue on living. what a stupid quote.
die u whoever created that quote.

sayang, hold on tight to my promise.
i love you so much ♥

with much love for him and a lil bit crushed,
me.

harap

this thing has always been a part of me yang orang lain tengok, and tak berapa suka. dah ramai orang tegur. tapi i just can't do anything lah. it is like my weakness. and benda ni jugak, aku agak friendly and cepat senang dengan orang.

aku senang kesian kat orang. aku jagakan sangat hati orang lain.

bila sifat aku ni 'menyerlah' , orang-orang yang suka ambik kesempatan -- pijak kepala aku.
*dush dush* tumbukan tepat!

aku baru perasan, aku selalu biarkan perasaan aku untuk senangkan dia.

jadi, aku harap -- dia bukan antara orang yang suka ambik kesempatan atas kebaikan orang lain.
aku sayangkan dia.

*baki kesabaran aku : 15%*

with love,
me.

nasib

nasib baik tak ramai orang tahu about this blog.
kalau tak, orang akan tambah meluat dengan all my post.
most of it, mesti ada nama 'afiq' <--- here's one more!
hahahah.

NASIB LAAA! kalau x suka, jgn baca. my blog. sukati aku la. okeh?

thank you loveliest.

with love,
me.

its 29th of april

congratulations to His Royal Highness Prince William and Her Royal Highness Princess Kate, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge. :)
what a service that was.
i love the wedding dress! love it. wish it's mine in the future. haha! *sangat berangan*

i didnt get to see the whole event actually. haha. i saw the first part and the last part. i didnt see the main event.

why oh why?

because! i went to pick up my sayang kat terminal bus tadi. woot woot!!! i just love him to bits and pieces.
yes, he is back already! and im so happy! ♥ ♥ ♥

lepas pick him up tadi, we went to the pasar malam. beli makanan for orang kat rumah.
then, pegi balik rumah cikgu.
uish.. aku rasa macam aku pulak yang disambut. the sisters was so happy to see me. i was happy to see them!!! i really felt like a part of the family already. thank you dearest future family. hahaha!

itu je nak cerita actually. :) teeheee. i love my dearest afiq ♥

with love,
me.

go with the flow

dengan penuh sabar, aku menunggu tarikh keramat untuk dia balik.
29 april 2011, datanglah cepat sikit.

so -- updates!

i just came back from KL.

1. applied for US Visa. and it is aprroved! :)
2. UiTM interview. Mass Communication. which have always been my interest. i think, i did quite well for it.
3. keluar dengan kawan kem. nada, ya, fara & galah.
   

first. about US and UiTM.
oh my god.. im so torn between two worlds.
the plan is : we are going to the US on the 28th of may. end of may.
the most anticipated event!
then -- here comes a curve ball.
UiTM : intake is in MAY.

so, chances of me going to US is? IF i request for the december intake, would they allow it? i mean like -- punya lah ramai orang nak masuk U cepat-cepat. lagi-lagi, UiTM. here i am -- nak tangguh sbb nak pg US. well, it is a maybe once in a lifetime experience. kan? so, how now? i dont know. i really really wanna go to US. and i really wanna get started dengan my studies.

dah la kalau i dont go to US, tiket semua dah book -- hotel pun -- takkan la nak burn macam tu je? itu semua duit okay. bukan senang nak cari duit. sorang is like -- RM3000.
sayang la duit.

haih. okay. next! UiTM interview. it went well i think. i answered dengan penuh confidence.
antara soalan cepumas; apa nama CM sarawak? sapa nama bini baru CM Sarawak. hahaha!
soalan senang. hahaha! and she was like -- oh, you know! you really do have the characteristics of a journalist! and my reaction? -- oh? really? thank you! *with the biggest smile on my face*
percentage of me getting it? 60% maybe? too much --? yeah.

entah la. i want it. but at the same time, i want US too.
really really hoping i cant get the best of both worlds.

nak cerita about my outing dengan geng plkn kat midvalley last saturday. tapi, mcm no mood pulak nak cerita.
skip this one. :)

29th april! i am so waiting anxiously for this day to come. the day that he is coming back for good. i miss him terribly. gosh. i really can go crazy waiting.
imagine how deeply and madly in love i am right now. well, he IS my first REAL love.

afiq sayang, i'll be waiting for you. and i'll be there when you reach miri. okay? i'll be the one yang sambut ktk dr terminal bas kelak, ok? i'll be there with the biggest smile on my face. lamak dah kita tunggu 29 april tok nk? it's going to come soon. i love you so much. please know that i'm missing you so much.
every second i have. trust me.

oh, i'm so in love. i ♥ you so much, encik afiq. :)

with the deepest love to the core,
me.

never thought i'd think about this ..

hello blogness! :) it has been about 2 weeks. haha.
agak tak betul lah intro kali ni.

UPDATES!

1. spm results : 1A+2A 1A- 2B+ 2C 2D
2. future diploma course : mass communication
   
3. future college : taylor's @ UiTM -- still thinking.
   
4. madly in love
   
5. worried.

kaitkan semua. walaupun its not suppose to be a problem -- i am actually very very worried.
all my life, i want to be the best. i want to further my studies. that has always been a priority in my life. i have chosen to be in taylor's or UiTM. both are in KL.

for the first time in my life, i am deeply in love. and this time, its real. not imaginary boyfriend. haha! he is my first love. i love him to the deepest core of the earth. and he loves me too.

can u relate both of it? and why the fact that im worried?

i am always the one that says, 'alaaaa. relax laaa. kalau dah jodoh, tak kemana nya laaa.. awk rentas laut ke, panjat gunung ke, terbang ke, kalau dah di takdirkan awk dgn dia, mmg awk akn bersama dgn dia..'
but now, im actually IN the situation. and now i know how it feels and how annoying is that statement.

its not that i don't trust him. i trust him. i just don't trust people around him.

i cant deal with this. omg. omg. omg. ttyl.
bye.

with love,
me.

im alive. energize more than ever!

im back! from KEM PLKN SG. RAIT, MIRI.
woahh. so many things i learned yet so little time spent there and i dont think i miss anything about it.
cukup la sekali aku pegi. enough is enough. orang selalu tanya, 'kalau dapat peluang pegi lagi, nak pegi tak?' my answer would be, 'no thank you.'
the experience there is so greatly vast. but, i dont think i want to repeat the thing again.
the waking up early, the classes, the race against time moments, the same 'ol routine everyday. what a life i had there.

during camp, i had my birthday. :) and the truth is, this year's birthday is the best i ever had. walaupun agak sedih have to celebrate dalam kem. here's why :

1. first time in my life, kena prank -- kena simbah dengan 2 baldi air sejuk n kena baling dengan bedak. since our supplies untuk prank xcukup, so -- we just have to make do dengan apa yang ada. haha! kesian.
   
2. second and its the best. i celebrated my birthday with my love. afiq sang for me. lagu selamat ulang tahun sayang by imran ajmain. ♥ iloveyou sayang! :)
   

seribu kali terima kasih to all the teachers. cikgu dzul, cikgu bad, cikgu nina, cikgu ani, cikgu rahmat, cikgu ed, cikgu simon, cikgu min, cikgu joe, cikgu arence, cikgu stacy, cikgu titty, cikgu ai, cikgu khamis, cikgu --- semua lah! hehehe.. thanks for everything and thank you sebab sudi melayan perangai sy. hehe..

and to all my kawan PLKN. nada, nisa, nina, fara, fatin, ya, aidil. i love you all sebab meng-happy-kan my days in kem. same goes to everybody kat kem yang nama x di sebut. kalau sebut semua-- sampai esok tak habis. haha! budak bilik P4A, semua budak ALPHA, BRAVO, CHARLIE and DELTA.

to my family. mama and syafiq -- thanx sebab sanggup datang evry sunday to see me. ngehehe..

to my sayang. afiq. thank you for every song you sang, every phone call, every message, every joke, everything. :) thank you sebab sanggup awaits every saturday n sunday. thank you sebab call me every week to ask me how am i, to ask what am i doing, to -- everything. making me smile when i feel like killing people.

now that im back, i have plans. yeahhh baby! :)

with love,
me.