can't help it.

this is killing me.
like, seriously killing me.

by the middle of the week, im dead already. why? because you murdered me. literally murdering me by being so silent.

i know. i know. i'm being so childish. but i CAN'T HELP IT.
i know. i know. we don't even have any ties between us. but i CAN'T HELP IT.
i know. i know. i'm being freakishly ridiculous. but i CAN'T HELP IT.

awak dapat diibaratkan macam chipsmore.
kejap ada, kejap takda.

since awak suka sangat makan cookies, memang cun lah. awak memang macam biskut.

*slapping my own face**dush dush*
SNAP OUT OF IT!

makin selalu orang cakap pasal awak, makin bertambah-tambah rasa terbunuh dalam diri saya.
yes, i admit that i love it when the conversation is about you. although i would blush all the way through the conversation, but i would still like it. no matter what.

i tried restraining myself from this. because i thought i had enough. and because i really need to stop all these. but then, i got caught up with you.

its partly your fault. and partly, mine.

its my fault for being so kenja. <-- that is the best word.
its your fault for being so ...... nice?

oh, about your so called 'im asking you for a date' thing , can you ask me again?
because i regretted saying no the last time.

hear yi, hear yi.
i have an annoucement.
i miss him.

selamat hari raya aidilfitri

tahun ni, beraya dengan mother and brothers.
sister tak dapat balik malaysia.
and how we miss her so f...ing much.
;)

tak mao panjang-panjang lah.
Selamat menyambut hari raya aidilfitri to all muslim all around the world.
*especially my sister yang tengah beraya dengan cik syira di Tulsa*

Maaf zahir dan batin jika ada :
1) tersilap kata
2) terlanjur bicara
3) terguris hati
4) terkecil rasa
5) terpukul sikit
6) terpukul banyak
dan banyak lagi ter..

sesungguhnya TER itu membawa maksud tidak sengaja.
*kalau niat di hati aku memang sengaja, maafkan lah jugak. :)

oh, rumah terbuka di kediaman aku. sabtu nanti, 18th sept 2010, start pukul 2 ptg.
jangan lupa datang. spaghetti bolognese air tangan mama baik punya!
dress code :: baju melayu for guys, baju kurung or kebaya for ladies.
*yang lain, tak diterima. haha!

bila aku jadi kaku.

adoi.
aku lah paling lame.
LAME. >,<
tahap gaban.

aku punyalah berharap hingga ke langit agar dapat jumpa dengan dia lagi.

dan. tadi aku terserempak dengan dia. BEST KAN?
nadi aku terus jadi macam F1 dekat litar sepang.
jantung aku terus jadi macam mat rempit tengah betting.
<3

dan bila nadi dan jantung jadi laju. aku jadi kaku.
aiya!
dia betul-betul depan mata aku.

aku ni teruk lah!
ergh.
sekarang ni aku rasa sangat menyesal.

bila lagi aku dapat jumpa dia?
adow.
kenalah aku tunggu genie untuk grant me more wishes.
and that will be berapa lama lagi?
alahai~

dearest you, i hope we can see each other again. like, seriouly.
i am wishing really hard to see you again.

sampai kawan aku cakap, THAT IS SO YOU. -,-'
maknanya, aku dah selalu sangat buat macam ni!
bila lagi aku nak bertukar??

tolonglah jangan bagi aku jadi kaku the next time aku jumpa dia.
frust menonggeng aku macam ni. ;(

all about camping. and some other thing.

venue :: Marriot Resort and Spa Miri
date :: 4th and 5th of September 2010
organisers :: UCSI University and GES Global
name of camp :: Ready! Set! Go!

ok. let me start by congratulating the organisers for putting a really huge effort to make this camp a great success. and it was indeed a fabulously great success!

it really didnt feel like a camp. it felt like we were just going for a sleepover at the hotel. nice kan? it was superb. especially the fact that the hotel was full of my friends!!!
there was prank calls, and other crazy things that we did for the whole 2 days 1 night stay.

i wished the camp was longer. ah, well.. at least i joined it! and it was full of enjoyment. love it.

oh, i found new friends.
i found new moments to be cherished.
i found new heart. ;D

he is ...
from ...
he is so ...
we shared a lot of things in common.

<3 ..
haha!

but then, i told my closest and dearest about this.
my mom said that i curang. haha! XD

technically, i am not in a relationship with anyone. so, the word curang should not be here.
but then, why do i feel so wrong?
and oh, he is doing the same thing. if he is doing it, why cant i? kan?
so, technically, i am not wrong. and should not be blamed for being curang. right?
a'hah! that proves my innocence.

i like both of them. what can i do?
i like them both way more than just friends.
its not love. its.... admiration?

ok. aku dah start merapu. stop it.

goodnight you and awak.
sweet dreams. <3

curtain call untuk aku

aku pernah kata aku seksa sebab kau.

tapi, sebenarnya aku juga paling bahagia sebab kau.

atas nasihat rakan aku, aku bagi diri aku peluang untuk perbetulkan semua ini.

setelah itu, aku rasa aku paling bahagia.

ada orang kata, bila dapat rasa sakit dalam cinta, itu memang cinta betul.

memang aku paling terseksa dulu.

sekarang aku paling bahagia.

aku memang dah lama sedar ini sekadar cinta sekolah a.k.a cinta monyet a.k.a cinta anak anjing.

aku tak kisah.
sebab aku sudah dapat rasa bahagia dengan kau.
tak kiralah anak anjing atau monyet.

bagi aku, kau paling hebat.
apa lagi yang harus aku cakap? dalam diri aku, kau dah kuasai aku.

tapi,
dalam diri kau?

tepuk tangan untuk aku sebab aku sendiri jaja diri aku tengah pasar.
bagi malu.

untuk kamu.

tiba-tiba dapat inspirasi untuk buat.
padahal semalam memang kering idea nak buat.

Terima kasih
kerana pernah terbangkan aku ke langit tinggi
sempat aku temu cahaya rembulan terang
Terima kasih
kerana pernah hanyutkan aku ke tengah lautan
sempat aku hirup bayu sepoi nan lembut
Walau aku tak pernah sampai ke destinasi
Aku tetap mahu terima kasih
Sungguhnya ia sangat terpaling cantik rupa
Kerana detik kita berdua
Jauh nilainya dari berjuta warna.

to you my dearest.

terlalu cukup terkilan rasanya.

cukup tepat untuk gambarkannya.
terkilan. seperti memanah dan panahannya tepat.
terlalu tepat.

aku bodoh-bodohkan aku sebab kau.

patut tulis sesuatu untuk kamu dan kamu seorang.
tapi, hati enggan kerana terlalu seksa rasanya.
seperti dipijak lenyek hati kecil ini.

tapi, jangan bimbang.
kau tetap terpaling cantik lukisannya dihati.

aku perlu pergi.
tolong buat sesuatu agar aku ikatan mati ini dapat terlerai.